"The Engine is Sacred!"

Were you feeling, perhaps, that the "Earth = Third World, Space-Station = America" border-control/immigration/class-uprising allegory in "Elysium" didn't look quite on the nose enough? Well, here are two trailers for Bong Joon-ho's (of "The Host" and "Mother") upcoming "Snowpiercer," in which an ice age has so blighted the planet that the remainders of human society now exist entirely on a gigantic train that travels constantly on a globe-circling track - the richer you are, the closer you live to the engine and get to run the show, while the progressively-poorer live further and further back into the tail. Chris Evans is guy who leads a rebel-uprising among the poor to storm the engines.

The Weinsteins have U.S. distribution on this one, so you'll probably see it sometime between tomorrow and never.

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Escape to The Movies: "The Lone Ranger"

Worse than you've heard.

Intermission looks ahead to Fall.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Lone Ranger

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Sharks. Tornado. "Sharknado."

I don't necessarily believe that all things in the world have a purpose - a reason that they come into existence. But, if I did, I would probably conclude that Syfy's purpose has now been served.

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One More "Pacific Rim" Trailer

Depressingly (both in content and because I haaaaaaate "tracking numbers" bullshit being part of the film discussion, but such is life) the "story" of "Pacific Rim's" impending release has turned toward suspense because it's tracking numbers (of likely domestic boxoffice) aren't anywhere near what the people who paid $200 Million+ to make it wanted to see (it's currently projected to open behind "Grown-Ups 2.") But I'm still pulling for it and "Elysium" as the champions of original studio genre-movies this year, and this epic new (final?) trailer is a good reminder WHY:




I can't say that I'm shocked by the tracking though - it feels like the massive ad push that Warner Bros. threw behind making sure "Man of Steel" didn't disappoint (which, incidentally, thanks to the studio's own sky-high projects it still somewhat has) sucked all the oxygen out of their schedule. The press for this thing should've been choking the airwaves (especially on the kiddie networks) and overflowing the toy-aisles to the point that every parent of a school-aged child should be sick to death of hearing about it by now; but it still feels like they're only really pitching to an audience that was already sold back when they greenlit it based simply on the name "Guillermo Del Toro." I'm glad Warner Bros. likes seeing guys like me go nuts for their SDCC rollouts, but guys like me were going to see this anyway - your job is to making my mom want to see your robot movie.

The film is still unlikely to "bomb" given the fact that basically none of this Summer's tentpoles other than "Iron Man 3" have had strong legs for the long-haul; "The Lone Ranger" is almost-certainly DOA, "Man of Steel" will be on its way out of the top-ten by then. And it's all-but garaunteed to do extended, long-term, gangbusters business in the now-vital Chinese/Asia market. But "optics" still count, and the spectacle of one of Summer 2013's few non-sequel/reboot/franchise blockbusters opening second (or worse) to Adam Sandler's yearly "my comedian friends have bills to pay" make-work project is a persuasive-looking argument for turning down good original scripts in favor of "what the hell can we make out of 'Knight Rider'??" 

In the background of all of this, by the way, are the substories that A.) Warners and "Rim" co-producers Legendary Films are in the midst of a nasty break-up and B.) WB is supposedly devoting the vast majority of it's attention to turning the post-"MoS" DCU movies into another decade-spanning corporate safety-net a'la "Harry Potter." Such is the way of things.

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Big Picture: "With Great Power"

...you know the rest.

BTW, did you buy my book? Because you can do that now :)

The Escapist : The Big Picture : With Great Power

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BUY MY BOOK

You can now buy you're very own copy (in print or ebook) of "SUPER MARIO BROS 3: BRICK BY BRICK" from Fangamer. So, please, won't you kindly think about doing so?

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Escape to The Movies: "White House Down"

Surprisingly awesome.

Intermission has more Superman, because why not?

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : White House Down

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Halfway There

So, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (one of the unfortunate "will THIS get you assholes off my fucking back?" toxic-compromise maneuvers of the Clinton era) in key areas, ruling that the Federal Government is Constitutionally prohibited from denying any federal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples married in states where such marriages are legal.


A big win, to be sure, and another step on the inevitable path to full equal marriage for all. But the court also stopped short of ruling one way or the other on a challenge to California's repeal of the gay marriage ban Proposition 8, finding the issue improperly brought before the court and punting it back to the state. So California gets to keep equal marriage... but for now, other states get to keep banning it. The DOMA provision allowing less-enlightened states to refuse to recognize marriages conducted in states with differing laws is also still in-effect; though that will almost-certainly fall on a separate challenge (for example: a military same-sex family is reassigned to a marriage-ban state sues to avoid losing multiple legal protections) either to this court or by the Justice Department.

This is a big, big step and should be recognized as such; but it's not a slam-dunk. The troubling thing about both this and the shameful gutting of the Voting Rights Act yesterday is that both give heavy credence to the prehistoric notion of "State's Rights" conservatism as envisioned by Bush II appointees John Roberts and Samuel Alito. As I've said elsewhere, "State's Rights" is a nice idea for small, local issues but for big broad-effect stuff has no functional place in a modern society of instant communication and coast-to-coast air travel;  and the nonsense we saw go down in the Texas legislature overnight is rather illustrative of that.

So, then, what we have now is a country once again divided between states where all citizens are equal and states where only some are equal; and the last time we were in that place it went pretty bad for all involved and really, really bad for the states/people who were on the wrong side of history. Hopefully it won't come to that - hopefully we've evolved in that regard, too.

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Good Company

Wow.

From Texas KXAN Local News (relevant part begins at 2:10)

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Wendy Davis: American Hero (UPDATED)

UPDATE II: It is done. Thanks to he courageous efforts of Wendy Davis, her fellows Texas Democrats and a massive throng of supporters acting to shout-down Republicans and run out the clock, the SB5 bill that would have effectively banned abortion in Texas has been killed.

There are two kinds of people in the word: Thinkers and Believers. Tonight, the Thinkers were also the Fighters - and they won. Thanks to them (for now) no woman in Texas can be forced into a life she did not choose because of someone else's beliefs she may not share or subscribe to.

This was a massive victory for progress and for reason, driven by genuine grassroots, bottom-up, digital-age activism and good old fashioned popular-outrage... and it happened in Texas. Not DC. Not New York. Not Boston. Not LA. Not even Oregon. TEXAS. You think your angry Fox News watching uncles were feeling obsolete and panicky before? Now they know they can't even get away with this shit in Texas anymore.

UPDATE I: The live-stream has ended, it is well past midnight in Texas but it is still chaos in the Texas State Legislature - no one is sure exactly what has or has not happened...


Just under two hours before Wendy Davis' filibuster time would've needed to conclude, the Republican legislators mobilized a series of dubiously-relevant parliamentary maneuvers to shut her down - one relating to her need of a back-brace (and of a second person to help apply it) constituted breaking the "remain standing under your own power" rule regarding filibusters in Texas.

During the ensuing debate over this (during which time she remained standing) her fellow Democrats worked to use parliamentary shenanigans of their own to delay the vote past the 12:00am CST deadline. As the clock rolled over to 12:01, however, Republicans had already begun a roll-call as lead-in to a vote; interrupted constantly by deafening cheers and jeers from pro-choice protesters who had assembled in the gallery. As of 1:27am in Texas, NONE of the major U.S. cable news networks has opted to interupt their reruns of the previous evening's editorial programs to cover the story; but at it's height 160,000 people were watching it unfold on internet livestream.

The situation as of right now is thus: The timestamp on the "official" (according to Republicans) vote is AFTER Midnight, meaning that legally it should be invalid. Republicans are (supposedly) claiming that allowable time can be/was extended because of the interruptions from the crowd. Democrats are (apparently) saying that the law does not afford that option - others are offering screenshots claiming that Republicans physically changed the timestamp from illegal to legal - and they will challenge any attempt to enshrine it as such when business officially re-opens.

In other words: This fight is going to continue, and will likely wind up either in the courts, under review of the Justice Department or both. Some serious shit went down here - and it was watched (and make no mistake captured) live on the web by hundreds of thousands. This is going to get ugly, interesting and will likely not be resolved anytime soon.

ORIGINAL POST FOLLOWS:

There are, fundamentally, two kinds of people in the world: Thinkers and Believers.* Thinkers may not have all the solutions, but in the modern world Believers cause almost all of the problems. Today, Thinkers have a heroine in Texas State Senator Wendy Davis.



Background: Right-wing anti-abortion zealots (but I repeat myself) in Texas have used legislative control of the state government (because there's nothing "States Rights!!!!"-absolutist conservatism can't destroy if it puts its mind to it) to push through a draconian bill that will effectively ban reproductive choice in the state. Republicans have an iron grip on the whole of the state's political machinery, and would be able to simply force this thing through save for one thing: A now seven-hour long and counting fillibuster by ONE Senator, Wendy Davis.

By law, so long as she remains standing (without even so much as leaning) and speaking and/or taking questions from fellow Democrat Senators until the end of the day, she can hold up the special legislative session and the bill will not be able to pass at this time. If she succeeds, it will have taken her 13 hours to do so. You can watch the livestream of this even HERE.

Earlier today, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to gut the most important Civil Rights legislation since Abolition because, in their view, enough time had passed that certain historically-problematic States no longer required the extra oversight of the federal government to keep them from pulling regressive bullshit in regards to Civil Rights. That this kind of bill can still happen, with only the arcane notion of a physical endurance test to stop it, should be illustration enough of just how disastrously wrong they were.

*Not that I should need to explain this again, but "Thinkers vs Believers" is not about religion or atheism. It's about an approach to the world - critical thinking, logic, reason, acknowledgment of reality and the primacy of science. There are plenty of Thinkers who are religious, and a great number of Believers who call themselves "atheists."

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Big Picture: "Jawsome"

Because you demanded it, "Street Sharks."

On a day when the U.S. Supreme Court has essentially declared that state-level government-enforced racism at polling places is okay again; we could all use some silly cartoons in our lives...

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Jawsome

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Is "Jurassic Park 4" Just a Remake of "Jurassic Park?"

I've had a standing-policy about "Jurassic Park 4" for as long as "Jurassic Park 4" has been a possible thing: I will remain nominally positive about the idea of "Jurassic Park 4" up until the (inevitable) point where they decide - for the third fucking time - to waste one of the most potential-laden premises in modern scifi (an excuse for any dinosaur ever to show up anywhere in the world and cause mayhem) by just setting the whole damn thing on the island. Again.

Yes, we all loved the first movie, but why they seem to assume that it was the theme-park location and not the awesome fucking dinosaurs that made it so popular. We've seen the island (no, Part 2 technically being a different island doesn't matter) three times, once was enough, I wanna see a Triceratops stomping around a major city with one or more dudes impaled on his horns, or something similarly awesome.

So, anyway, Joblo thinks they have the basic plot details of the now-in-pre-production JP4; and not only are we back on Isla Nublar again... we're basically back in the first movie again:


According to Joblo's source, the big pitch this time is "what if the first movie had been BIGGER?" Set an unspecified number of years after Part 3, the main setting is supposedly a completed, open and fully-functioning Jurassic Park built on the site of the original. The rides are working, most of the animals have been tamed and it's a huge international tourist destination just like John Hammond had envisioned.

I'll admit: I'm morbidly curious to see this movie (or just read this script) to find out what kind of epic handwave is invoked to justify the idea of anyone re-starting Jurassic Park after everything that's already happened. Interestingly, it seems to borrow at least some basic DNA from John Sayles' infamous JP4 treatment featuring humanoid, weapon-toting dinosaur commandos as heroes: The action apparently involves a new strain of aggressive dinos causing trouble at the park and the use of "tamed" Velociraptors to resist them.

Maybe this is legit, maybe not, but what it does sound like is a disappointing mix of boring and dumb. Okay, fine, I got like 75% of what I've been hoping for out of a "Jurassic Park" sequel from "Dragon Wars;" but I'd still been hoping for more than this...

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Escape to The Movies: "Monsters University"

Because nobody gives a shit about "World War Z." Nor should they.

Also, let's talk more about the XBox 180.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Monsters University

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Unsubbed "Gatchaman" Trailer Hits

Here's a nifty Japanese trailer for the live-action film adaptation of 70s anime staple "Science Ninja Team Gatchaman," which U.S. fans may be more familiar with under the titles of "Battle of The Planets," "G-Force," or "Eagle Riders." Pic opens in Japan in August, no word on a U.S. distributor. New uniforms certainly look nifty, though they do kind of lose the "dressed-as-a-bird" angle. Interestingly, this comes to us from the director of "Grave of The Fireflies" and "Pom-Poko."

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SGC 2013: Day Zero

SGC hasn't even officially begun yet, but I've already gotten to meet lot's of great fans and colleagues. This is going to be a good one, I can feel it.

Regarding my book: I can happily announce that copies of "Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick-By-Brick" (available online soon exclusively from Fangamer.net) will be available for purchase at the ScrewAttack booth in the Dealer Room starting tomorrow (note: cash only). Some fans have already purchased copies from me "in the wild," and if you see me around lugging a briefcase or boxes chances are I've got some and I'd be happy to sell you a copy providing I have the cash onhand to make change; so please don't hesitate to ask.

In addition, I will hopefully be able to sell some copies (supply-contingent, obviously) before and after my panels and possibly also during the autograph session, so keep an eye out for that. I'll likely be re-stocking the booth as needed and to the degree that I am able (supplies are limited) so check back and watch my twitter feed (@the_moviebob) in the event of selling-out. The response to this has been overwhelmingly positive, and if it ends up that I simply didn't bring enough with me (again, online sales coming soon to Fangamer.net) well... there are worse problems for an author to have.

Stay tuned for updates, and if you're here for the con I look forward to seeing you later today :)

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MovieBob's SGC Schedule

So here's where and when I'm scheduled to be places during SGC2013. I'm planning to always have copies of The Book on me for sale while I'm on the floor, though it also looks like it'll have some space at the ScrewAttack sales booth as well, and I'm looking to do some selling before/after my panels and during autograph sessions if at all possible; so those looking keep a look out.



FRIDAY 6/21:
2:00 PM Game OverThinker Autograph Session (Autograph Area Landmark B&C)
9:30 PM "OverThinking It" Panel with Matthew from GameTheory and others (Main Stage 2 Landmark D)

SATURDAY 6/22:
1:00 PM THE GAME OVERTHINKER RETURNS solo/Q&A panel (Main Stage 2 Landmark D)
7:30 PM Gaming On YouTube panel with GameTheory and others (Panel Room 3 Cumberland K&L)

SUNDAY 6/23:
Nothing officially scheduled, but you never know :)

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HOLY SHIT THIS "LEGO" TRAILER!!!

By all rights, a movie based on a line of toys wherein the toys THEMSELVES not only star, but star alongside toy versions of other mass-market branded characters should be THE symbol for the final victory of creeping-corporatism in film.

And yet... "The Lego Movie" looks kind of incredible.

Animation buffs take note: What you're seeing is (apparently) all CGI, but animated in such a way (other than the facial-features) so as to imitate the look of stop-motion made using Lego people. I'm not 100% sure what this technique is called, but I think it's roughly similar to the way the Nicelanders were animated in "Wreck-It Ralph."

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Big Picture: "Man of Tomorrow"

Spoilers, ho!

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Man of Tomorrow

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"The Wolf of Wall Street" Trailer

Hard to believe, but in a few short months "Awards-Worthy (Studio) Movie Season" will be upon us. One of the incoming expected-biggies is Martin Scorsese's "The Wolf of Wall Street," in which Leonardo DiCaprio continues his quest to shame his peers by winning an Oscar while he still looks about 19 years old.

Pic is another "rise and fall of hard-partying late-90s capitalist douchebags" saga, this time based on the memoirs of Jordan Belfort, who got busted in '98 running athe crooked brokerage firm that also served as the inspiration for "Boiler Room," one of the brighter spots from that strange "Vin Diesel is going to be a serious actor - no, for real" phase the industry was going through at the time.

Anyway, here's a trailer:

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The Book Is Imminent!

The first printing has been completed on my first book, "Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick By Brick." Very exciting.

The book will be available for sale online likely sometime in the coming week (exact date TBD) exclusively through Fangamer.net (there will be an e-book version as well) although I will be bringing a limited number of physical copies to SGC next weekend to be sold in person (and signed, if that be your bag) pretty-much whenever I've got a free moment to do so and also during/after my designated panel/autograph times.

At this time, those are the only two ways to purchase the book currently slated, and unfortunately I am not able to ship/sell copies over the web myself. However, I'm also working on putting together some local sales-events here in the Boston area and will make the dates/locations of those available as I get them. If you happen to BE the proprietor of a Boston area gaming/book/etc establishment and are interested in discussing hosting a selling/signing event please hit me up in the comments below.

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Escape to The Movies: "Man of Steel"

And here we go...

Also: What will probably end up being one of the year's best comedies is playing right now.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Man of Steel

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Fuck Yes, "Elysium" Looks Even More Awesome

There are two Great Hopes for original Hollywood genre-movies this Summer. One is "Pacific Rim" (hey Warner Bros? Now that "Man of Steel" is out can we get a hundred trailers and constant TV-exposure for that?) and the other is Neil Blomkamp's "District 9" follow-up "Elysium;" which now has a full(er) trailer.

Premise: It's the future, and class has stratified to the point that a wealthy few live lives of disease, crime and pollution free bliss on an orbital space-station called Elysium while the working-class toils on an increasingly-blighted Earth below - kept from breaching into Elysium's borders (MESSAGE!!!) by ruthless space-defenses, a robot army and bionically-augmented human soldiers. Matt Damon is a worker bee from Earth who, after being mortally-injured in an industrial accident, gets outfitted with a strength-enhancing mechanical exoskeleton so he can fight his way into Elysium to snatch medical supplies for himself and his fellow-afflicted.


I love how this is shaping up. Blomkamp does the "looks plausible AND looks cool" school of scifi design better than almost anyone (gotta love how Henchman Number One is lugging around a Future Sword in a world crawling with automatic weapons), and the design of the robots and exoskeletons are awesome enough to sell me on this movie without the clever, possibly-incendiary setup - I want to see the guys with the power-suits (cosplayers to your soldering irons!) shoot and punch their way through those kill-bots yesterday.

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So They Bothered To Finish The "300" Sequel

"300" is one of them "phenom" movies that was absolutely huge for a moment in time and now feels like kind of a weird "why exactly were we all so hot for this?" footnote, so I'm not sure what kind of audience is waiting for a sequel. But they went and made one anyway, and now it has a trailer.

The actual plot of this one hasn't been widely disseminated (largely because, again, nobody really seems to care) but from what has been said and from what this trailer reveals (new additions include boats and the color blue) it's likely that they're attempting a larger focus than the tightly-contained original; likely focusing both on the battles of Artemesium and Salamis (naval engagements taking place during and after Thermopylae from the first movie) and apparently also the Battle of Marathon.

Rodrigo Santoro is back as Xerxes (the film will also feature extended flashbacks to the God-King's origin story) as are Lena Heady, David Wenham and Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes. Our principal New Hotness is Eva Green as Queen Artemisia, commander of the Persian-allied naval forces.

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CONFIRMED: This Is Captain America's (Shitty) New Uniform

Well. So much for that, then.

It's basically the "Steve Rogers: Super Soldier" outfit from the brief overlap between "Bucky is Cap now" and "Steve is alive again" from a few years ago (which was in tern an in-joke homage to Jack Kirby's Cap-parody "The Fighting American")  but with a cowl and shield added. And yes - it's the lack of stripes that does it. It's not like dropping the yellow oval from the Bat-symbol; the stripes (or at the very least a healthy amount of red and white to go with all the blue) are effectively Cap's "trademark," the only thing that keeps him from just looking like a Power Ranger who's missing a bunch of his mask. This is taking Superman's "S" shield away.

These things aren't really "all important" when you get right down to it (as I've said many times before, Batman has never once had a good-looking outfit in live-action and it didn't stop his movies/TV shows from averaging out pretty decently) but it's a bummer all the same. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen a character-design from a Marvel Studios project and just completely hated it top-to-bottom, and it stings doubly-much given just how excellent Cap looked in both appearances so far. Doesn't really mean anything regarding "The Winter Soldier's" overall quality, again... but still disappointing (and I bet Phil isn't a fan, either...)

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"Hobbit 2" Features Legolas, Smaug, Barrel-Riding

It is going to be so weird if Orlando Bloom and Other Orlando Bloom Luke Evans have any scenes together...


Yes, there are Czech subtitles. It's the first version I found. Welcome to a global economy.

Memo to all would-be humorists: "Calling" that The Barrel Scene would be turned into a big, elaborate action-sequence in this doesn't qualify as especially prescient. Dial back the snark and enjoy your big-ass dragon.

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Big Picture: "Superman Revisited"

I don't see "Man of Steel" until later tonight. Stop asking.

Until then, here's Superman.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Superman Revisited

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Bad Lieutenant: Scotland Edition

Below, the trailer for "Filth," featuring James McAvoy as a super-corrupt police detective doing the debauched mutually-destructive sex/drugs/violence thing all over Edinburgh. Looks amazing (I'm told the Irvine Welsh novel it's based on is similarly excellent.)

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Escape to The Movies: "The Purge"

Everything sucks.

No, really.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : The Purge

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Cetaceans Are Jerks

You know I'm a big fan of the classic Killer Whale Murder Spree flick "Orca," and you ought to be as well. Now, here's a trailer for "Blackfish," a documentary about Tilikum, whom you may or may not remember as the captive Orca blamed for the killings of three Sea World employees - the most recent of which was the attack/drowning of a trainer that happened in front of spectators. The trailer is cut like a Shocking! Expose! thing about a serial-killer cover-up, and I kind of hope that sort of sleazy/sordid "True Crime Stories" energy informs the film itself.

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The Hills Are Alive

That "Lifetime" is allowed to still go around billing itself as "Television For Women" when it's output is almost-exclusively Hallmark treacle, reality TV flotsam and tabloid sleaze is something that someone should really organize a march against. Until then, let's all "enjoy" this trailer for their next big celebrity biopic, "The Anna Nicole Story;" with Agnes Bruckner in the title role and a torch-song version of "Fame" lilting over the soundtrack.




Wow. Do you have any idea how bad a movie has to be to look like it's not going to do "justice" to the life-story of Anna Nicole Smith?

I think my favorite part is her kid standing there crestfallen when he accidentally sees Anna dry-humping a ladyfriend in an elevator. Yeah, I'm sure that was the most horrifying thing that went down in his upbringing. Depressingly, the director on this was Mary Harron; the once-promising helmer of "American Psycho."

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Big Picture: "Boy's Own Adventure"

The things we get worked up about...

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Boy's Own Adventure

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Origin Story

The clock keeps ticking down to the release of "Man of Steel." I'm not slated to see it until the week it comes out (at least so far,) but it's been shown to the NY/LA junket press and there are supposedly sneaks happening around starting this week. So far, nobody I know or trust has given me a solid reaction one way or another, so... the waiting game continues.

While we wait, Warners has released this 13 minute "making of" piece to the web. Nothing in the way of new footage or plot details, but always interesting all the same. It doesn't do much to change the overall impression I've held since this ball got rolling: Looks really good, will almost-definitely do the job of making Superman "cool" in the eyes of the popular-culture again... but there's this omnipresent "moodiness" hanging over everything they've shown that can't help but make me worried that they somehow still. Managed. To. Not. GET. It.



If nothing else, I'm encouraged by the fact that Christopher Nolan has basically no presence in the piece. Sure, that's probably more of a scheduling thing, but I've maintained all along that he's completely wrong for a Superman project and if his role here really was just laying his "Director of The Dark Knight" blessing on the film and hanging back as a figurehead... fine by me. On the less-encouraging side, everything out of David Goyer's mouth in this makes me physically cringe, and it's his "reimagining" pitch that apparently made Nolan throw his weight behind this in the first place.

Just a pair of observations:

1. Pretty-much every single "new" version of Lois Lane get's talked up as "more proactive" than the previous; which is endlessly amusing if you have even cursory knowledge of the real history of these characters. Lois is the most well-known superhero love-interest, so people tend to imagine her as being the "useless shrieking damsel-in-distress" believed typical of the type - ignoring the idea that "unusually proactive, assertive and independent" has been the default for Lois since the beginning of the comics. Yes, she got captured by bad guys a lot... usually because she was going into dangerous places alone of her own volition rather than waiting for anyone else to nut up and do it.

2. I'm not going to say that working stuff like this out as part of establishing a cohesive design aesthetic is a "bad" approach, BUT... if you really are enough of a miserable party-pooper that the question of why an alien's costume has an "S" on it's chest will be the thing that would negate your enjoyment of a movie, you were never going to enjoy a Superman movie.

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Yikes, Bikes!

When the Wall Street Journal - one of America's worst non-mimeographed and/or locally Church-published newspapers - isn't running obnoxious, stiflingly-ignorant clickbait pieces "taking down" film criticism (oh, I'll get to that one, be patient;) it's apparently giving platforms to the shambling, somehow still-animated Old Money ghouls of New York Past. Because someone has to.

One of these frightening yet pathetic creatures, Dorothy Rabinowitz, has taken some time from what one must assume is a strict regimen of draining life-sustaining essence via eye-contact with unlucky errant Central Park dogs to offer a hilariously tone-deaf (in the "do these people HEAR themselves!?") screed against NYC's new Bike Sharing installations.Whatever she was hoping to accomplish here, it's effect on me is sudden desperate hope for a sequel to "Premium Rush" with somebody fun (is Mary Woronov still working?) as an extra-villainous version of this lady.

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This.

Snapped and tweeted by LaMovieBuff at a convention in Puerto Rico is a photo that, if I were the head of marketing for Warner Bros, would be purchased and readied to be slapped on every "Man of Steel" puff-piece set to hit Time-Warner's various magazine and news outlets over the next two weeks.

This. This image right here. This is the real, pure, true, good thing underneath all the obscene corporate/commercial bloat surrounding a movie like this (or "Avengers," or "Pacific Rim," or whatever.) And it's also the literalization of my central question regarding "Man of Steel" and WB's still shakily-uncertain DC Universe plans in general: Will they be worthy of the awe this kid is investing in just the poster? And if not, then why are they bothering to make these at all?

I hope I like this movie, but I really hope this kid likes this movie.

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Spring Gamers

Is this brilliant? Yes, this is brilliant.

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Escape to The Movies: "After Earth"

Pretty damn horrible.

"Intermission" looks at how we got here.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : After Earth

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First Image From The Live-Action "Kiki's Delivery Service"

Courtesy excite (note: site is in Japanese), here's your first publicity-still from the live-action version of "Kiki's Delivery Service;" which evidently is a thing that is happening.

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"Machete Kills"

The key to the original "Machete" - for me, at least - was that it was the first instance in a long while of a Robert Rodriguez movie actually being about something beyond the surface-level faux-grindhouse jokefest. I have no idea what Rodriguez politics are and thus no idea how strongly he "really" feels about the U.S. immigration debate; but whether authentic or just part of the winking 70s-exploitation pastiche it was the ferocity with which "Machete" engaged the subject that made it stand out: The wildly-applauding, predominantly Latino audiences at my screening(s) certainly didn't think it was a joke.

So I wonder if "Machete Kills," which Rodriguez may or may not have put together partially by having the castmembers of "Sin City 2" put on different costumes for pickups during their greenscreen shoots, is going to keep that going or let Part 1 be "the political one" and just focus on the spectacle of improbable action-lead Danny Trejo hacking up a succession of stunt-cast cameos and Latin-cinema mainstays.

The first full trailer for the film (it's a Yahoo, sorry) doesn't let much out in the way of story beyond what we already know: Machete is called in for a mission by the U.S. President (Charlie Sheen, here using his real name "Carlos Estevez" for the first time in a film) involving a supervillain played by Mel Gibson; whose scheme may or may not involve a "Moonraker"-style outer space component. Rodriguez has "joked" in the past that the third film "Machete Kills Again" will be a Space Opera, possibly incorporating leftovers from his scuttled John Carter project.

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Introducing The BOFCA YouTube Channel

The Boston Online Film Critics Association, of which I am a member, now has their very own YouTube Channel. Bookmark it now, because fun stuff will be incoming.

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"Planes"

Here's all you need to know about Disney's "Cars" spinoff, "Planes." Pixar - which had no problem signing it's name to both of the wholly-disposable "Cars" movies, is letting Disney take sole credit for this one.Dane Cook stars as a cropduster who dreams of competing in an airplane race against an elite gathering of broad ethnic stereotypes.

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Ma vie en rose

Huh. Well, this will be interesting.

The Hub, which is still looking for an original kids' series that people will watch other than "Friendship is Magic," thinks it's found a winner in an Australian animated series called "Shezow." I hadn't heard of it until the (week old) trailer for it's U.S. premier started making the rounds, but the premise is interesting: The (magical) mantle of a female superhero with decidedly female-gendered accoutremants (sparkly miniskirted costume, Barbie-esque pink car, etc) is accidentally passed to a teenaged boy.

Okay, so it's kind of a single-joke premise parody wise re: male superhero uniforms are considered "unisex" but heroines' are not, but I've seen a lot more made from a lot less. I don't recall ever hearing if anybody freaked out about this in it's native Australia, but as you'll expect the usual gang of idiots is already apoplectic about what they see as another assault on children by The Gay Agenda. 

Even without their "help," of course, if the series catches at all that it'll be roped into the debate(s) surrounding LGBTQ children is inevitable; though it's hard for me to get a read on what those communities will/do actually think of this: The premise appears mostly played for laughs, i.e. Shezow is alternately thrilled with his powers but annoyed/embarassed at the form(s) they take (I haven't tracked down an episode, but I'm assuming that, by the law of teen heroes' powers usually being learning-opportunities, the hero has some sort of overcoming-his-own-assumptions-about-girls'-abilities character-arc going on?), and I'm not 100% clear as to whether the transformation (his "By the power of GraySkull!" is "You go girl!") makes him biologically female or just puts the costume/hair/makeup on; but my sense is that any kid-targeted series that - even humorously - says "dressing outside gender-roles is cool/acceptable" has to be a step in the right direction, yes?

Well, we'll see. "Shezow" makes it's U.S. debut Saturday, June 1st.

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Big Picture: "Dumping Irony"

"Too much!"

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Dumping Irony

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Controversial "Blue" Scores Big At Cannes

And we now have our customary first big Awards Season Frontrunner (for awhile anyway) as the voting concludes at the Cannes Film Festival. The jury - this year headed by none other than Steven Spielberg - awarded the Palm d'Or (top prize) to "Blue Is The Warmest Color" (aka "La vie de Adele Parts 1 &2"); a French romantic drama that was already one of the most buzzed-about and controversial entries in this year's festival.

Based on a French graphic novel (apparently unavailable in the U.S.), the story follows a young woman's (Adele Exarchopoulos) awakening to an intense attraction to another woman in her teens and into early adulthood over the course of a lengthy relationship with said woman (Lea Seydoux,) whose blue-dyed hair is the source of the title. The film runs an impressive 3 hours, the majority of which is simply conversational scenes between the two women and a small supporting cast.


However, the element that had the festival talking early were sex scenes described as "frank" - which is arthouse-movie speak for "actual fucking" - one of which allegedly goes for a full ten unbroken minutes (Cannes audiences are being reported to have applauded the - literal - climax of said scene as though a monument had just exploded in a Roland Emmerich movie.) There are already questions as to whether or not the film will require major editing to be viewable in certain countries, and a skeptical backlash painting the film as being over-praised by lesbian-fetishizing male critics and jurors (the director is a man, Tunisian-born Abdellatif Kechiche.) Meanwhile, it's victory will almost certainly become a talking point in it's native France; which just legalized gay marriage in the face of major opposition from conservative and religious organizations: The nutcase who shot himself in Notre Dame Cathedral last week did so in protest of legalization.

In any case, the film is now slated for an October release in France followed by a year-end rollout in the United States in anticipation of Oscar nominations.

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The Hard Stuff

Below, the trailer for this year's movie the "endurance cinephile" in your life (the guy who prides himself on having "made it through" notoriously heavy/violent/controversial works) will be going on about this year: "The Act of Killing." The good news? It indeed looks/sounds kind of amazing.

The premise? In Indonesia, the government that operated the country's notorious Death Squad killings of communists and suspected communists that are said to have numbered at least 1,000,000 is still effectively running the show, and while the vestiges of a modernizing nation are all present the perpetrators of this genocide have gone largely unpunished - rather, many live as lionized national celebrities. In "Act," filmmaker Joshua Oppenheimer documents the life of a (mostly) unrepentant death squad leader named Anwar Congo, now a grandfather, who claims to have personally killed 1,000 men himself.

The hook? Oppenheimer asks (and provides the resources) for Congo and his surviving co-killers to make a movie about their death-squad exploits. Not a documentary or a historical-recreation, mind you, but a narrative version of the events from their point of view. As it turns out, Congo's particular outfit were gangsters specializing in movie-piracy before they were conscripted to help with the slaughter... and they're big movie buffs. So not only does their version feature death squad killings (with them directing the amateur actors playing the victims and killers) recreated by the guys who did them with low-budget special-effects makeup and gore, it also ends up featuring "arty" setpieces, elaborate costumes, fantasy-sequences and (apparently) a musical number.

Yes. A documentary about mass-murderers directing, staging and acting-in a lavish, "visionary" movie about their own mass-murders. Holy. Shit.

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Does The "Carrie" Remake Now Have The Stupidest Marketing Campaign Ever?

Pop Quiz, hotshot.

You've got a horror movie to sell. It's a remake of one of the genre's modern-day classics, a film that damn near everyone has either seen or at least is familiar with the plot and iconic moments thereof. One of the small handful of genuine horror (as opposed to "suspense" or "thriller") entries alongside "Exorcist" and "Rosemary's Baby" to be recognized as great, important films even outside their often-disregarded genre. Based on a book by easily the most famous living author of horror or anything else on the planet.

What's more, said book (and original film) are absolutely loaded with button-pushing themes and imagery about evergreen Important Subjects like female sexuality, bullying, child-abuse and religious extremism.Your cast? Headlined by Julianne Moore, one of the most lauded actresses in the business, and superstar child actress Chloe Grace Moritz on the cusp of her "I intend to still be doing this as an adult!" step into the teen stardom maelstrom. Your director? Kimberly Pierce, best known for the critical and awards darling "Boys Don't Cry."

So! Given all that, how would you choose to market this film, which, by all accounts and evidence, is primed to be a serious, perhaps even noteworthy work?

Well, if you answered "Unfunny reference to a tired, ancient Internet Meme," you might have a future working for MGM/ScreenGems, which has unveiled the below-pictured, head-slappingly stupid "motion poster" for the remake of "Carrie."



"Keep Calm And CARRIE On." Because the prom, and because there's a crown on that old British WWII poster that was hanging up next to "The Kiss" on every other college dorm wall a decade ago.

I'd love to know what the logic was in deciding that making your own movie into a joke was the best way to sell this; though I suspect it's something like the resident overpaid Social Media Strategist opining that it would be good for them if Tumblr got on a "Carrie on" viral kick and deciding to start it themselves. Self-meme-ing famously failed to make "Snakes On A Plane" happen at the boxoffice, but at least that was always going to be a throwaway movie. I can't really see deciding that this was the way to go for something that was previously being pitched as a serious film.

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Shazbot!

We cannot stop Robin Williams, we can only contain Robin Williams.

Below, the extended trailer for CBS's fall sitcom offering "The Crazy Ones," which appears to compress the entirety of it's pilot episode into five minutes. The premise? Somebody though "Y'know, people seem to love 'Mad Men,' but maybe they'd love it more as a wacky-father/serious-daughter workplace comedy with Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar:"

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Escape to The Movies: "Furious 6"

Stay for the credits.

Intermission talks XBox because reasons.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Furious 6

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The Fast & The Europiest

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Something Interesting Is About To Happen In The "Avengers" Biz

So. A week after Joss Whedon surprisingly confirms that X-Men/Avengers shared-custody kids Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are being planned for "Avengers 2," apparently enabled by a contract loophole that lets them use these specific characters from the X-Men family (the movie rights to which are owned by Fox) so long as nobody says the words "Mutant" or "Magneto" (he's their dad); Fox and director Bryan Singer have now out-of-nowhere revealed that Evan Peters will be playing Quicksilver in the currently-shooting "X-Men: Days of Future Past."

This is interesting. Maybe.


First things first: Marvel/Disney would have absolutely zero problem with casting a different actor for the part in their movie, so the idea that this automatically means this guy will be showing up in "Avengers 2" is a non-starter to begin with. Besides, "DoFP" is a time-travel movie (supposedly involving lots of time-skipping and alternate-history in the service of cleaning up series continuity and presumably further deleting "Last Stand" and "Origins: Wolverine" from happening) so... yeah, likelihood that we'll see two different actors play a fast-running guy named Pietro in two different movies? Pretty damn high.

For the record: It also wouldn't surprise me at all for Quicksilver to have a really, really small walk-on role in "DoFP" - so small, in fact, that you'd think they perhaps very quickly wrote him into the movie once it was announced that he was to be an Avenger so they could benefit from the free-marketing of fan speculation. (Also, I expect they'll be casting young for the Avengers version of Wanda and Pietro; positioning them as the "unpredictable kid members" of a mostly adult-to-middle-age team.)

That having been said, the logistics of all this are kind of fascinating. My own pet theory (not supported, I stress, by any kind of special "insider info") is that "The Conversation" between Marvel/Disney and Fox about allowing The Avengers and X-Men to be seen holding hands in public is already taking place on some level (likely in the form of a childish staring-contest, but still). If nothing else, QS & SW are a strange choice for the first-announced new addition to The Avengers lineup, re: they aren't particularly popular, non-fans have never heard of them, their powersets aren't all that special and while it's true it gives the team one more woman it's still just two more white people on a team everyone seems to agree could use some diversity.

BUT! If they were allowed to be Mutants, with everything that entails? Suddenly it makes some kind of sense. Part 2 of a genre series is typically "the dark one," where things get complicated and awkward as the post-victory party winds down ("Yay! We blow'd up the Death Star!" "Crap, The Empire is resilient and this universe is actually pretty fractious and complex.") The sole non-upbeat undercurrent of "Avengers" was the idea that S.H.I.E.L.D. is willing and ready to play dirty as a response to a world "filling up" with superhumans, and it's important that the big "coming together" of the good guys happens in-tandem with them rejecting working "for" Nick Fury - even though he kinda sorta manipulated them into it, anyway.

If "Avengers 2" was to (or was able to, rather) explicitly say that the "filling up" of problematic individuals includes the "The Mutant Problem?" (They've already been floating the idea that Thanos won't be the "main" antagonist until Part 3, so there's also that.) Well, that's a really easy road to a darker scenario - the separation of The Avengers as the "good," accepted super-beings versus The Mutants as the "bad" ones people are worried about - and suddenly makes Wanda and Pietro interesting for the team.

The thing of it is, this is all on Marvel/Disney. Fox (and everyone else who owns Marvel movie-rights) would likely kill for their franchises to be declared even tangentially part of the Marvel movie-verse. "Avengers" was bigger than a hit, it was (and remains) a world-wide cultural phenomenon. Basically everyone saw it, the reception was overwhelmingly positive and it's absorption in the common language of pop-culture has been so immediate and all-encompassing that it's third-tier non-costumed supporting characters can now headline television series. If you're running a studio making superhero movies and there's some chance you could connect your movies to this juggernaut in the public eye, it'd be worth almost any price. Fox in particular should be salivating at the idea of being able to knock out a cheapjack X-Men tie-in and score a profitable weekend because it might be part of the "Avengers" story.

The trick of it is, while Fox (or Sony, if we're talking about Spider-Man) would probably meet any reasonable price to "share" the X-Men, it's Marvel/Disney that's in the position to A.) make the offer and B.) say yes or no; and there's really no (financial) reason for them to not just wait out the clock on the other studios running low on cash and just buying the franchises back wholesale so they don't have to share anything. The Avengers are, after all, already worth billions with "just" the six guys they already have - it's not like they stand to lose money if Spider-Man and Wolverine (lets be clear: Wolverine is the only reason the X-Men franchise is worth any money to any studio) aren't in the lineup.

In any case, it's a long way to "Avengers 2's" 2016 projected release date, and Marvel is (in)famous for making a lot of their movies up on the fly while shooting; so there's plenty of time for the situation to change on this. Right now it's a game of chicken, Fox saying "We're using Quicksilver first, so maybe start dealing with us or put up with fansites complaining about an 'actor switch' for your movie" and Marvel likely thinking "Yeah, because everyone was soooo mad that Edward Norton wasn't in Avengers;" but the math probably gets different if "The Wolverine" rescues it's franchise in a few months: Marvel is all about the money, and they know exactly how much of it a hairy forearm rising into the foreground in front of the assembled Avengers* and popping out claws to a familiar "snikt!" before a hard cut to black would be worth as the last shot of an "Avengers 2" trailer.

*Of course, like everyone else I'd LOVE to see the "Wolverine vs. all the Avengers" fight scene - with the caveat that Captain America ultimately knocks him on his ass, then gives him a hard time about how he remembers him being a lot tougher.

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"Don Jon"

Below, the trailer for Joseph Gordon Levitt's self-written/directed "Don Jon;" which casts him as a pornography addict who falls for Scarlett Johansson as a woman similarly-addicted... to shitty romantic comedies. Because Mars & Venus and reasons.

In all seriousness, though, it looks REALLY good - I am so psyched for the idea of Tony Danza entering an "aging sought-after character actor" career-phase you have NO idea. I'm just going to assume that casting of two of the best looking people in Hollywood as having "addictions" more generally associated with people who look (regardless of gender) more like me is some kind of meta-joke...

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"Man of Steel" Trailers, Once Again

I finally know what date I'll be seeing "Man of Steel," which is a relief because the anticipation on this one has been killing me: Every new thing seen/heard from it has been alternately thrilling/terrifying: So much that looks like they "got it," so much that sounds like they might not have and nothing to change my concerns that while Zack Snyder is the perfect person to direct a Superman movie... the Nolan Bros. don't belong anywhere near the character.

That sense continues with the new trailer, which is more-or-less the "introducing your villains" one. The look and feel of everything is awesome, and Michael Shannon's Zod seems to be as magnificient as I'd hoped... but I'm also getting a bad feeling:


"Clark becomes Superman to fight off an alien invasion by his own people" is a serviceable enough new spin on the mythos, fine," but how many Kryptonians is Zod dragging around with him, exactly? The "one of my citizens" line and the "background details" of the other trailers make it seem an awful lot like they've switched Krypton from "destroyed" to "conquered" in this version - a pointless, asinine revision that J.J. Abrams' abominable "Flyby" script also pulled - though he could also be "ruling" a roaming crew of super-nomads, which has interesting potential (it also occurs to me that we don't even know HOW Kryptonians having super-powers "works" in this version.)

But it's worrisome that they either seem to be junking (or have simply "missed") the quintessential "immigrant story" that's always been underlying this character. Kal-El being one of very few survivors of an advanced, proud culture that's been destroyed and (literally) scattered to the stars is what made Superman not just The American Immigrant generally but The Jewish-American Immigrant specifically. Not necessarily saying new ideas are bad, but this is big stuff to be doing away with and I remain thoroughly unconvinced that the people behind the writing of this have the understanding/respect for the things their tinkering with to be trusted with a full-scale overhaul.

We'll see.

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Big Picture: "Secrets of S.H.I.E.L.D."

It's speculatin' time.

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Secrets of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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Not Entirely Unlikely

Just kinda popped in there...

Click for larger version, obviously.

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Help Me Out Here...

The second half of my "Star Trek Into Darkness" review got into spoiler-territory in order to address what I see as some pretty serious flaws, but there's one in particular that I didn't fully discuss - partially because it would've taken too much time and the show ran long as it was, but mainly because I'm not 100% sure that I didn't "miss" some bit of dialogue that would've made this not the ginormous, baffling plot hole that it seems to be.

Obviously, EVERYTHING after the jump is spoiler-territory, including the comments. So read/click through only if you've seen the film and/or really, really want to...


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Okay. The issue I'm having concerns the film's big finale action sequence - which, befitting a Star Trek movie, takes the form of a CGI-assisted parkour foot chase in San Fransisco.

Background: Revealed at midpoint of the film, Benedict Cumberbatch's "John Harrison" owes his superhuman strength, intelligence and healing-factor to the fact that he's actually Khan Noonian Singh, the villain from "Space Seed" and later "The Wrath of Khan;" the leader of a crew of genetically engineered superhumans who got cryogenically frozen and lost in space after starting a big mess called "The Eugenics Wars" 300 years pre-Starfleet. (In the film, though, it's only ever mentioned that he and his crew were superhumans - at one point, Spock pulls "Oh, and they were totally genocidal, too!" out of thin air once Admiral Red Herring has been dispatched and it's time for Khan to be primary antagonist again.) It has also been revealed that Khan's super-blood has the power to cure death, which the crew becomes aware of when Bones injects some into a dead tribble he happens to have around. Anyway...

The setup: Having driven Khan into a rage and causing him to scuttle his warship on Earth by pretending to kill the 72 remaining still-frozen superhumans (they're actually safe aboard the Enterprise,) Spock is informed that the ship was only able to re-start because Kirk elected to climb into the warp-core to repair it manually and is now about to die from radiation poisoning. From there, the climax from "Wrath of Khan" is replayed but in-reverse, with Kirk now dying behind the glass and Spock getting to do the angry "KHAAAAAAN!" yell. Discovering that Khan has survived by beaming into the city, the enraged Spock beams himself down to pursue and kill him. BUT! Bones serendipitously catches sight of his test-tribble coming back to life and realizes that Khan's magical death-curing blood could save the day, meaning that Uhura now has to beam down into the big fight and convince Spock to spare Khan's life. She does, he does, Kirk is fine, Khan is back in his freeze-pod so he can come back in a sequel, the end.

Here's my issue: There are 72 other superhumans, frozen, right there on the ship. Why don't they just use one of them? Why does it need to be Khan? Did they ever specify that having magic death-curing blood is a special thing only for Khan? Because if they did, I missed it. I've heard it suggested that it's possible Khan's crew are not all supermen in this timeline, but A.) That doesn't make sense because this timeline is supposed to have been identical to the original up to the moment Nero came through the wormhole and altered history and B.) Khan specifically says that he and his crew are built for deep-space survival during his big "I'm going to win!" bad guy monologue. Seriously, I cannot figure out how this isn't a massive hole in the story. Anybody?

UPDATE: Someone has pointed out that a throwaway line earlier in the film about not being able to get the bodies out of cryo-sleep without proper codes or somesuch without killing them being an explanation. Good catch, but clearly Bones doesn't have any big issue with their death/injury from improper-thawing (and you CAN get blood from a recently-dead corpse) since he orders the crew to eject a body from a pod so he can use it to keep Kirk's body stable.

And while we're at it... this basically means Starfleet has a cure for death now, right? I mean, they're going to have to either explain-away or readjust and deal with the fact that nobody should be dying of anything in this universe from here on out, since there are now 72 bodies worth of self-replenishing Cure-It-All safely tucked away wherever, yes? Because otherwise aren't we going to be wondering why, if people get killed or mortally wounded in the next movie, they don't just uncork a vial or two of the serum Bones said he made from the blood and get on with life?

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And Your Next Two AVENGERS Are...

Long rumored but now seemingly confirmed by Joss Whedon to IGN, joining the team (or at least in the film to some capacity) will be Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, better known as The Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. He's basically The Flash if he was a Eurotrashy douchebag, she can manipulate probability - i.e. she can make pretty-much anything happen through "magic" handwaved with psuedo-science. They're fraternal twins, originally villains who reformed and joined The Avengers alongside fellow ex-baddie Hawkeye during the team's first major overhaul (everyone quit but Captain America, leaving him to train a new team of ex-villains.)

And now things get interesting...

Here's why this is kind of a big deal: Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch, in the comcis, are Mutants. Supposedly, "all" of Marvel's Mutants are owned as part of the "X-Men Family" by Fox; so they can't show up in any non-Fox Marvel films. Normally, that shouldn't be a problem: "Mutant" in the Marvel Universe essentially means anyone who is a human born with an extra-human sense or ability, so it would not be tremendously difficult to augment them into some other variation on "born like this" (or just give them new origins) for "Avengers 2."

But these aren't just any two Mutants: Despite being overall more-associated with the Avengers franchise (which is why they can be in this at all, Mutant or not) Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch started out as members of The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants... and they're Magneto's children.

Now, sure - that can be written out just as easily as having them be capital-M Mutants, but it also negates most of what would make them novel as members of an ostensible good-guy team. And they're not exactly popular or novel enough for me to imagine Marvel insisting on their presence - nobody really cares about Quicksilver and there are many more-popular Marvel heroines than Scarlet Witch - so Joss Whedon or someone else on the creative side wanted them specifically for this. That's interesting.

Here's the thing: Fox would probably do anything (short of relinquishing the X-rights themselves) to have "their" X-Men franchise be "officially" connected to "Avengers," even tangentially. Suddenly, any random Mutant movie they crap out becomes much close to must-see because "hey, we might need to have seen this for the next 'Avengers' movie!" So the question isn't whether or not Fox would "go for" some kind of shared-custody of the Mutant characters (they probably would,) nor if Fox and Disney/Marvel have already talked about this (you'd best believe they have - everyone who owns a Marvel franchise has been talking about how to get in on the action, FX scheduling is supposedly the only reason you didn't see "Amazing Spider-Man's" OsCorp building in "Avengers.") The only question is whether Marvel is willing to "work something out" or would rather hold back until Fox has a bad year and needs to sell the X-characters back altogether.

I have a suspicion that there's another shoe or three yet to drop on this, especially since there's a LONG time between now and "Avengers 2." But for now, Fox has two "X-Men" movies set for this year alone, and if they're both hits that gives them a slightly stronger bargaining position assuming any bargaining is actively going on (I suspect there is, but you never know.)

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Escape to The Movies: "Star Trek Into Darkness"

Second time is not the charm.
(Note: later-half of review has clearly-marked spoilers)

"Intermission" has some Blood Dragon for you.

The Escapist : Escape to the Movies : Star Trek: Into Darkness

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Final(?) "PACIFIC RIM" Trailer Hits

I really, really hope that this marks the start of a much bigger push for this movie. Fairly or not, I feel like so much is riding on "Pacific Rim." An original (read: not a sequel, remake, reboot, adaptation, etc) big-budget genre movie? Guillermo Del Toro finally on the cusp of the blockbuster clout he should've had a decade ago? Giant monsters and robots up onscreen with no "apology" for their own existence or attempt to make them palatable to audiences that might turn their noses up otherwise?

If something like this doesn't "succeed," it validates all the worst chickenshit instincts of the current studio-system. "Joe Popcorn" (or whatever the current euphemism is) probably doesn't deserve this movie... but I hope "he" shows up anyway. There's more riding on this than just this.

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"Riddick" Trailer

In case you weren't aware, the reason Vin Diesel keeps agreeing to "Fast" sequels is because it's the only way to force Universal to make more movies featuring his "Riddick" character. The new film, simply titled "Riddick," now has a trailer:

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FULL Three Minute "S.H.I.E.L.D." Promo Hits!

An extended version of the trailer for Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." series has now hit the web HERE.

This follows the previous 30 second teaser, the 7 second teaser for THAT teaser, and the 2/12 hour teaser released to theaters last year as "The Avengers."

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Big Picture: "Mystery Bonks"

This is sort-of about "Star Trek." It's that kinda week.

Also: NEW GAME OVERTHINKER today!

The Escapist : The Big Picture : Mystery Bonks

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Fox's "SLEEPY HOLLOW" TV series. Holy. Cow.

I'm an on-record eye-roller when it comes to the Orci/Kurtzman team, not because they so often make bad movies and TV shows but because the bad stuff they make is often so close to being awesome. So much of their output plays like a "sanitized" version of someone else's batshit-nuts brilliant idea; and as I continue to say: A crazy, unwieldy, unworkably ridiculous idea unleashed full-force - even and often especially if the result is spectacularly embarassing - is preferable to competently-executed mediocrity: Please me, horrify me, just don't BORE me.

With that in mind, the trailer for O/K's latest TV effort for Fox, "Sleepy Hollow;" in which Icabod Crane and the Headless Horseman are ressurrected in present-day New England to continue their battle anew. With Dan Brown-style historical conspiracy theories. And machine guns. And it looks AWESOMEly terrible.

Looks like these guys are finally heeding the sage advice of every assistant director on every porno ever: If you're gonna suck, at least suck well:

Sooooo many things I love about this - mostly ironically (because really, this looks soooo fucking stupid) but some genuinely:

Icabod Crane is now some kind of super-agent contracted by George Washington to kill the Hessian brute who becomes the Headless Horseman. LOVE IT... because it's so point-missingly dumb, like something out of an old "Spawn" comic.

"He described the man I saw in PERFECT DETAIL!" In that she saw a man without a head on a horse, and Crane apparently used the standard two-word description for that.

Orlando Jones is in it. Orlando Jones rules.

So is John Cho!

The decade-old "too many Starbucks" joke getting dragged out, again. Um... LA writers? Do your research. If they're in New England, 2/3rds of those are Dunkin Donuts.

Jones calling Icabod "Captain America."

"Turn around and put your hands on your... OH GOD!!!"

Treasure maps? Ancient good vs. evil Witch War conspiracy? "The secret is in Washington's Bible?" So dumb. So beautiful.

Icabod's mission: Thwart armageddon - apparently The Headless Horseman is also one of the Four Horseman of The Apocalypse. Because... that's two supernatural things that everyone knows has the word "Horseman" in them. That's the sort of thing you'd put into a parody of bad Alan Moore-wannabe literary-mashup stuff, and here it is as the hook of a real TV show. Perfection.

The Headless Horseman, wearing an ammo-belt over his Hessian war coat, firing a submachine gun at cops gangsta-style.

Icabod assumes his black female cop partner is a freed slave.

"HEADS! WILL! ROLL!" Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I would love this if it were just a "Funny Or Die" parody of someone's insane pitch for a "Once Upon A Time" bandwagon-jumper, but I think I'll love it even more as a somehow-meant-to-be-taken-seriously actual show. Bring it on.

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